Nimish Batra, The Life and Times of

I haven’t shaved my beard since last Wednesday.

I didn’t have time on Friday morning, I forgot on Saturday, and I got an idea on Sunday.

It is this.

I’ll probably reach office on Thursday at 9am. I will proceed to stroke my handsome mane repeatedly and pointedly.

At about 11 (an hour before I take off for lunch), I’ll use my electric razor to give myself a French beard. I will then not mention anything at all, because it’s quite natural for facial hair to recede as the day wears on. I may thoughtfully stroke my chin or scratch emptily at my cheek, as rugged-yet-sophisticated IT professionals are wont to do.

Then at about 3 pm (this is about 2 hours after lunch and 2 hours before tea), I’ll rid myself completely of the facial growth, shearing wildly in a melee which us regularly-clean-shaven folk experience only rarely.

Then I will proceed to, again, continue calmly and sedately with my work. Because, like I said, facial hair disappears during the day. It recedes inwards you see.

Now, it would work better if I were to shave the RHS of my face completely first, and then later the whole of it. Or the variant where I slowly shave away the hair evenly. But then again, the former will get me hounded out and the latter requires expertise, skill and speed.

You know what will work best? 5 people doing this together.

I probably won’t go through on this… and yet… (Good thing no one reads my blog… or do they??)

Posted on November 30th, 2009 under Life, idea, play, prank, work • RSS 2.0 feed • Leave a response, or trackback